I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
I like marriage. The idea.
