A Do'set Sale

WITH A MISTAKE.
(_Thomas and Mr Auctioneer._)
_T._ Well here, then, Mister auctioneer,
Be theäse the virs, I bought, out here?
_A._ The firs, the fir-poles, you bought? Who?
'Twas _furze_, not _firs_, I sold to you.
_T._ I bid vor _virs_, and not vor _vuzzen_,
Vor vir-poles, as I thought, two dozen.
_A._ Two dozen faggots, and I took
Your bidding for them. Here's the book.
_T._ I wont have what I diddèn buy.
I don't want _vuzzen_, now. Not I.
Why _firs_ an' _furze_ do sound the seäme.
Why don't ye gi'e a thing his neäme?
Aye, _firs_ and _furze_! Why, who can tell
Which 'tis that you do meän to zell?
No, no, be kind enough to call
Em _virs_, and _vuzzen_, then, that's all.