Now That You're Gone

I found myself laying in our bed once again with tears streaming from my eyes.
Since here I am crying over you because my heart can't accept your death.
I watched you died in my arms after receiving a gunshot wound to the chest.
I watched you bleed in my arms, all life within you draining away to the ground.
And I watched you smiled one last time before you crossed over to the other side.

Now that you're gone, I don't know which way to go with my life.
You were the reason I looked forward to a new day in this world.
You were my rock to keep me grounded when I wanted to fly high.
Into my world of fantasy in which you came to know and love yourself.
But now that you're gone, I'm lost without you giving me the support I need.

I remember it rained the day we laid your body to rest seven feet underground.
The funeral was somber and everyone kept coming up to me, giving hugs and sorrow.
Wouldn't dare shed a tear in front of complete strangers even though they were friends.
Kept a straight face on even if everyone could see pass the facade of my mask.
It took every bit of strength within me to not kill myself to join you up in Heaven.
Just went along with the routine even if on the inside I was murdering my soul slowly.
Since I never thought you'd leave me alone in this world before my time ended.

But now that you're gone from my life, I'm completely lost without your guiding light.
Since you were the only one to bring me out of my darkness that consumes my heart.
You were the one person to believe in my abilities as a writer when the world turned on me.
Degraded everything I wrote from simple little poems to masterpieces about losing love.
You were one of the few people to support my poetry even when I stopped writing.
But now that you're gone from this world, I've lost my muse to pick up the pen again.

My heart is broken and my soul keeps on crying out your name during these lonely nights.
Thought that I could be strong to keep on living without you in my life, but I was wrong.
I need you, I want you back in my arms laying with me in our bed in this house we live in.
I don't want another man to take your place, I want you to return and continue being my king.

My heart is broken and my soul keeps on crying out your name during these lonely nights.
Thought that I could accept your death and continue to live my life after this chapter ended.
But I'm still yearning for your touch and I'm hearing your voice singing in my ears day to day.
I'm slowly losing my mind and I can't stop shedding these tears even if I tried to be happy.

But since you're gone from the world of the living, my life has become unstable and I'm losing it.
You were the pillar of strength to keep me together even during my moments of silence I expressed.
You were one of the reasons I kept a smile on my face even when secretly I just wanted to be sad.
You were everything to me, but now that you're gone, I'm having trouble moving on to someone new.
That I keep finding myself back in our bed, not wanting to get back up to face the world again.
Even though I know you'd be mad at me if I don't try just a little bit to move on from you.
But since you're gone from this realm of reality, I want to join you so we can continue to love.

My life feels empty without you standing by my side that I'm just drowning in my own depression.
Friends keep on trying to cheer me up, but instead I'm spending long days standing in front of your grave.
Letting all of my tears roll down my face, expecting you to kiss them away with your lips that I miss.
But I'm just losing myself in another illusion since I know you're no longer breathing the same air.
You're in a better place now, watching over me even while at this moment I'm suffering without you.
Yet I know deep in my heart, you'll be waiting for me to walk through Heaven's door one of these days.
Then we can continue where we left off from the moment you passed on to the other side without me...

Written on: 9/13/11