Gainging what I've never Lost

I fear my illness has hit its worst,
Reality at its peak,
When I fall, I curse the world,
With words, I shouldn’t speak.

It seems like it was years ago,
Though it was merely yesterday,
I’d wait outside with my wooden sword,
Ready for dragons who’d come my way,
Too bad I can’t use my shield right now,
Towards the truth that left me betrayed.

At night, I’d confide my darkest secrets,
To friends who don’t talk but hear,
Then one day, they broke my heart when they,
Moved on, and disappeared.

Every morning I’d stretch my wings and fly,
My soul was free and rising, seemingly unscarred,
I’d soared across the tree-tops, just to touch the sky,
Then one day, I woke-up, and hit the ground real hard.

I used to have some magic,
That I’d store for, “just in case”,
Then one day, I stopped believing,
When it didn’t fix the vase.

I use to believe in worlds other than my own,
From a secret door in the hallway, I’d disappear behind,
Then one day, it was hard to take,
Because of a door, I could no longer find.

I used to visit space, almost every day,
Using magic that I found,
Once I made the mistake of doubting my power,
And plummeted to the ground.

I visited every doctor,
For my sudden in capabilities,
For the magic that I’d lost,
For the sights, I can no longer see.

But for every trip, trying to find what I had lost,
All I’d get was a pat on the back, with laughter,
Their words echoing, “give life a shot”,
But I wasn’t sure, I wanted to try it,
If this the highway robbery cost.

It was just another digit,
That left me with regret,
That I didn’t say good-bye,
To memories under threat.

But do not be afraid,
My recollection of those days, I’ll never let be dead,
My remembrance of those good old times,
And my adventures I’ll never forget.

I wish that I could be stronger,
For the new perspective, I see,
No one could’ve prepared me for this,
On how hard growing up could be.