I Am A Doctor

I let rain destroy my clothes
and stay up all night and fall asleep
on the backseat of my car, on my horse.
If I find a dead body on the street
I search the pockets for letters and keys
and try to find someone who recognizes the body
(sometimes it is the dog or the horse).

Look at me, I am a doctor.
Give me your hand, I am a doctor.
Let me through, I am a doctor, no, a cop.
No, a doctor and a cop were walking down the road.

Here are two envelopes.
One contains a joke that is twice as good as the joke
in the other.
You can keep one of the two jokes.
Choose an envelope, open it, read the joke.
The joke in the other envelope is twice or half as good.
If I let you swap, would you?

What’s it about, I asked everyone I found,
and they all told me the same joke about themselves
and they also gave me lists of their traits
as if they wanted to be in a better one.
It’s me, talk to me.

I am a doctor, people called me to be sure.

I’m going to make a joke that will stay good
for ten years.
I have all the ingredients.