Wherefore He Prays That A War Rant May Issue

IS YOU de jestis ob de peace? I has a little case
About a little matter, sah, what happened on de place.
I's nuffin but a nigger, but has feelin's, all de same,
An' de way dat Mahsr Henry went an' done me wuz a shame.

Las' spring I foun' a little chicken runnin' in de road;
I tuk it to de quarters, an' kep' it till it growed.
I nebber stole it; kase de law sez ebrythin' you fin'
Belongs to you; an so, ob co'se, dat chicken, he wuz mine.

A week dis comin' Thu'sday, I wuz comin' from de fiel',
An' happened fur to 'member I wuz out ob meat an' meal;
So I begins to study 'bout what I's a-gwine to do —
An' thinks, sez I, " Dat chicken's shorely big enough to stew. "

When I gits to de quarters, den I sez unto my wife, —
I wouldn't tell a lie to you, sah, not to sabe my life, —
" Hey, Phyltis, gal, " sez I, des so, " run out dar in de lot,
An' cotch dat Dominica fur to bile him in de pot. "

Sez she to me, " I 'low myse'f, he would cat tol'ble good;
But how I gwine to cook him, when I isn't got no wood? "
Dat wuz de conbersatiorin, sah; I gibe it word fur word,
An' Phyllis she can testify as dat wuz what occurred.

Sez I, " You kill de chicken. Does you think I's los' my sense? "
An' I went to Mahsr's wood-pile, in de corner ob de fence.
I looked an' didn't see nobody, heard nobody speak,
An' so I toted off enough to do me fur a week.

I nebber thought ob stealin' when I tuk dat wood away,
For ebry stick I 'spected to return some oder day;
An' ef a man cain't borry wood what's layin' out obnights,
I'd like fur you to tell me what's the good ob swivel rights?

Well! Phyllis picked de chicken, an' she soused him in de pot;
De fire wuz burnin' libely an' de water gittin' hot;
When sometin went boo-room! boo-room! right in de chimney-place,
An' all de fire an' ashes come a-scootin' in my face.

I thought it was de debbil, an' it skeered me' mos' to deff;
De smoke puffed out so hebby I could skacely draw my breff;
De wood, de pot, de chicken, dey went flyin' crost de floah,
An' me an' Phyllis had important bizness at de doah.

De folks dey come a-runnin'; dar wuz Bob an' Pete an' Bill;
An' heah come Mahsr Henry des a-laughin' fit to kill —
Sez he, " I knowed, you rascal, you wuz takin' wood away,
An' I put a poun' o' powder in a holler stick to-day. "

Dat's why I want a warrant, sah; my rights is all I ax,
An' I has lots o' witnesses to summons to de fac's.
I scorns to be imposed on; an' I 'peals unto de law
To go fur Mahsr Henry, sah, an' bring him up to taw.