Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Never fight an inanimate object.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
