Limericks

a poet named robby who wrote limericks
bared his whole heart in rhyming rhetorics
but the critics, et cetra
made sure he'd get extra
bad marks for indulging in polemerics
***
the first draft:
a seemingly educated limericist named curdy
writes limericks too over exceedingly wordy
in spite of much how he tries
to sound educated and wise
one moreover wonders as to how one fringes so
on the edges of absurdity

the final draft:
poet named curdy
was too wordy
being wise,
downsized
now sounds nerdy

***
a young poet from county limerick
was tired of labouring through thin or thick
to make them all rhyme
in 8-8-5-5-8 time
so ... one day, he said to himself, I just won't do that any more

***

A lass named Polly McKenzie
Took French, because it was trendy
When asked to romance
a gentleman from France
she went into a parles vous frenzie

Parisian life he offered, she took it,
but now, she’s a pity to look at
‘cause dear Polly, poor wench
all she’d learned of her French
was ‘silver plate’ and ‘mercy bucket’
***
Barb, a barbarian from Barbaria
And her man, lived in a wire barbed area
Sign said, 'Traspassors beware
Though I shoot first, I'm fair.
If mistaken, I'll have my wife, Barb, bury ya.'

Samson and son, Sam, in Samaria
Lived in separate houses in the same area
Sign said, 'Traspassers beware.
But if you're feminine and fair,
I'll not shoot, but I'll have my son, Sam, marry ya.'
***
They’d planned their honeymoon in Uzbekistan
From whence they would take in Turkmenistan
But at one glance at his bank book
Their itinerary they forsook
Instead they went to stay with his uncle Stan
***
When Willie reinvented the wheel
We all laughed and called him a shlemiel
But then he so happened
To take out a patten
Now it's his license fees that make us squeal!