by Seth Yuhi Musinga
Can you see the sadness behind my eyes?
would you be able to feel my pain?
think how it`s feel like
to be by yourself and frightened
they left me like I am nothing
no mother, no father, no one to care for me
no one to raise me or teach me how to be human
with no parents to refrain
The whole world was: too cold, too big and too cruel.
no house or bed to go back to every night,
I lie awake every night, alone under the bridge,
hungry like a Wolf.
overcome with panic, pain, and desperation
migraine that made my whole body throbs
developing a contaminated and stigmatized identity
I was a tender ember seeking solace from above...
I remember the pain I felt and wonder why
when my human needs were ignored, rejected and invalidated
living in a nightmare in the darkness of my soul.
tries to cry out for help, but soon learns that no one will listen
carries my denial like precious cargo without a port of destination.
Inside, my soul became so cold I hated everything and everyone
forced to alienate myself from reality and own experience
I wasn’t given permission to be my own person
It’s hard for me to admit that inside I feel a really lonely person
It is so degrading and I try to forget, it hurts so much because they are my parents.
I suddenly realized that my lifelong search for love
and acceptance had finally ended in the arms of a foster parents and Roman Catholic Church.
I am a survivor because every day I make a choice
not to be governed by their harsh words or actions.
Hiding my pain and acting strong, afraid to cry and show my tears,
I struggle with all this years later.”
The memories flood back, still so many years to go
hopping growing up will bring escape and freedom.
Thanks to my
foster parents and Roman Catholic Church
I am a creative man who is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.
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ABOUT THE POET ~
Biography, I was as Seth Yuhi Musinga on the farm Karetes in the Fransfontein district of Namibia. World War 1 drove my parents from their farm in Kalkveld ( Otjoruu) and I was born in the farmyard, under the shadow of a pear tree. I attended school in St Michael's RC Primary School and St Joseph High School., I received teacher's training at Academy College in Windhoek then studied education management in North-West University, South Africa from 1995 to 2000 ( Correspondence). I worked as a teacher in St Michael (1983–1985), Rössing Uranium Mine (1987–2003) and Skorpion Zinc Mine (2003–2006)., Literary career, By the late nineteenth Century, I begun to write poems. My novels are a reflection of my outlook on life. I spent most of my life insulated from certain sections of society. Most novels are also based on the idyll of rural country that I am so fond of., The strength of my novels is the ability to gain penetrating insights into the character and nature of human relationships, from even a fairly limited range of environments and characters., Although I wrote successfully in all literary genres, I am first of all a poet. Among my 250 and odd volumes of poetry are My Life Story (1990), My Visit to Hell (1993) and War Veterans (1987), Lover (1980), My Love for you (1997) and Oh, So Sweet (1988), a letter to her (1983), Nelson Mandela (1939) and Kuku Vivi Kandongo (1996)., My verse is notably simple and musical, making use of traditional verse forms such as the rondeel, intertextual references and techniques such as the switching of idioms, epigrams and spellings.
Last updated September 22, 2015