Sonnet (XI) : I know me and I do believe in the causation

I know me and I do believe in the causation
But then why not me but this god in religion ?
When you say my thoughts are the cause
And the world around me it's result rouse .
Then why do you bring forth this unseen god
And terify me to be punished by his hot rod ?
And you say he chose you as his beloved son
And brought forth here for his kingdom to run .
And if it is he and it is you at the highest seats
And me in this world to be watched for my deeds ,
Then my mind goes into doubt and thinks further
That you are like me and I never saw your father .
So I travel to search this god , the world's propeller
And I find nobody but my smallest existence astire .