Male Fashions for 1799

Crops like hedgehogs, high-crown'd hats,
Whispers like Jew MOSES ;
Padded collars, thick cravats,
And cheeks as red as roses.

Faces painted pink and brown ;
Waistcoats strip'd and gaudy ;
Sleeves thrice doubled thick with down,
And straps to brace the body.

Short great-coats that reach the knees,
Boots like French postillion ;
Worn the G----- race to please,
But laugh'd at by the million.

Square-toed shoes, with silken strings,
Pantaloons not fitting ;
Finger deck'd with wedding rings,
And small-clothes made of knitting.

Curricles so low, that they
Along the ground seem dragging ;
Hacks that weary half the day
In Rotten-row are fagging.

Bull-dogs grim, and boxers bold,
In noble trains attending ;
Science which is bought with gold,
And flatt'rers vice commending.

Hair-cords, and plain rings, to shew
Many a LADY's favour,
BOUGHT by ev'ry vaunting beau,
With mischievous endeavour.

Such is giddy FASHION's son !
Such a MODERN LOVER!
Oh ! wou'd their reign had ne'er begun !
And may it soon BE OVER!