The Heavenly Line

I was a passenger on The Heavenly Line
stopping all stations and running on time
starting early on a lifetime's journey
innocent, trusting, naïve and dependent
willingly dutiful but with little initiative
passively participating, compliantly pliant
introverted, programmed, unable to think
learning by rote, understanding little
emotionally, socially and sexually repressed
wondering who I happened to be
lost to the family that reared me
during my solitary ride

Going nowhere in The Heavenly Line.

I escaped for a time at Fantasy Station
finding salvation in the imagination
with stories and pictures of distant places
a magic storehouse I could explore and enter
escaping behind a phony façade
eluding suspected jeers and taunts
alienated because I failed to adapt
fleeing from one world into another
to be faithfully indoctrinated
and taught to believe the unbelievable
uncritically, innocently accepting

A fog which eventually lifted in time.

Listless, helpless, people waited
on the platform at Stillborn Station
vacantly milling, vainly hoping
the demented, the crippled, the unborn
for a hope that would never arrive
but as we were leaving someone fled
and frantically attempted to board
hanging on desperately as we picked up speed
flailing wildly backwards into the past
where the immortal soul awaits its fate
for the imagined grace of eternal life
the only alternative

To eternal damnation and the fiery furnace.

Although in a compartment all alone
I learned to discriminate
between the scenes outside
and the thoughts inside my mind
to see clearly other faces in distant places
solve some problems and slay my demons
all memorials to my dependency
with travellers on The Heavenly Line
of being born without knowing why
and trying to understand
by worshipping a creator
a loving, forgiving, wrathful figure
to venerate and acknowledge
the bridge between helplessness and hope
to resolve doubts and save souls

Of travellers on The Heavenly Line.

In the darkness of the night
entombed inside a speeding monster
dreaming nightmares of the horrific kind
losing my way in some alien city
confused by variations in every scene
I awakened relieved
jolted free from fantasies
escaping into a silent, private world
of creativity, fulfilment and contentment
free from the wars being waged outside
leaving the train at Serenity Station
some distance from its destination
knowing I was as close as I could ever be
to a place that didn't exist
leaving behind a ghost train

Going nowhere on The Heavenly Line.