His Stenographer

As he dictates to her
Does she love you?-well, I wonder-
Married twenty years, they say!
You, so bald and fat and funny,
Grubbing like a mole for money?
Guess she likes to spend the plunder-
Gee-she knows the way!
She's a grand one-Lord! what dresses!
Handsome too, proud as a queen-
With her doings in the papers,
Dinners, dances, all the capers,
Likes to lead the show, my guess is!
You're the gold machine!
If she knew you as I know you,
Would she spend it-say?
If she knew each trick and quibble-
Little fishes hooked that nibble,
Business murders-would she show you
Such a grand-stand play?
You're a savage money-maker-
Good to her, though, sure-and me.
Kind old pirate! What in thunder
Does she think of you, I wonder?
What neat stories do you take her,
So she will not see?