Have I Lost It?

Drip, Drip... the damnation of the faucet,
Have I lost it?

Lying in bed, trying to sleep, counting sheep,
waiting for that vexatious beep...
of that little box, please, make it stop,
so I can crop it... from my mind.
Still waking, mildly blind,
I reach up to wipe the sand from my eyes.
What's the time?

Two hours of sleep, maybe three,
I drank my dinner so I could dream.
Rise up from bed, can't comprehend,
trying to rid this hangover from my head.

Naked still, as I stumble around,
Curtains shut tight to muffle the sound...
Ahh, the morning sun, Have I come undone?
Ready for bed before the days begun.

I Study myself, looking half dead,
Open my eyes wide to see a sea of red.
Turn The faucet on, let the water run,
Still feel chilled steel from the load of my gun.
I'm still and stare, run my hands through my hair,
undeniable proof that this pressure is too much to bear!

I dress myself, just a T-shirt and jeans,
Throw my shades on, so I may remain unseen.
Eyes locked on my feet, People pass me on the street,
I slip through this world evanescent and discreet.

The drink comes early, yes, I "self medicate",
Helping me dull this never ending ache...
In my brain, relieves the pain,
makes it a bit easier as I go insane!

A little after noon, a bit buzzed & a nip better,
Although, my soul reflects this bleak & depressing weather.
My bodies worn, battered and torn,
each day losing myself just a little more!

Look at me! my life's a mess,
25 now, and I don't know the last time I've tried my best.
Deeply depressed, death dances on my breath.
Respecting myself each day just a little less!

I used to be an average, somewhat normal guy,
with dreams & needs, not brooding how i'd like to die.
I can't pin point the day, when my life began to change,
these thoughts in my mind, I can't aline or arrange.

I'm A shadow of myself, yet too proud for help,
maybe I'm afraid to have faith someone in else.
I need to change my ways, sober up my days,
Get my act together so I don't waste away.

The day is done & once again I make it home,
Another day down, and yet, still bitter and alone.
Drunk again, without a friend,
contemplating each moment what I could have been.

Apathy, Fatigue... Old friends controlling me.
My mind and body, bringing me to my knees.
Bottle of booze, by my side,
like an an infant falling asleep to a lullaby.

Drip, drip... Drip, Drip...
As I slip into slumber I hear it...
Drip, drip... Drip, Drip... Have I lost it?