The Oregon Trail is a Chinese Restaurant on Christmas Eve

From Independence it’s a shit ton of miles
to the Kansas River crossing.

Child #1, Christopher, has a broken leg.
Christopher is sad he has a broken leg.
He’s like Shit, my leg hurts something awful.
He’s like Shit shit shit.

We ford the river but the river’s too deep.
We ford the river & you’re like Why
the fuck are we fording the river?
The oxen can’t breathe. The oxen can’t
breathe under water. They’re chewing
their tongues off trying to breathe.
Wendy, child #2, her face is a waterfall.

Christopher is vomiting from a fever.
He’s vomiting all over Wendy’s grave.

On the seventh day God rested.
Christopher has died of dysentery.