Duntroon 1983

They're smearing you with butter.
It's good for you & the National Party.
They're issuing scissors for you to cut the grass---
they're sending you around the barracks for
condoms by the plastic bag full
you'll, they'll never use---
they're standing you to Attennnn Shun
for a full blast fire-hose---
they're ordering you to address the wall
for ten minutes
as Staff Cadetttt Wall---
they're raising bayonets to your throat &
making you Stand Atttt Ease---
they're depressurising your room by
tossing everything not nailed down
into a heap in the centre---
they're demanding tea & sandwiches
in your room at your expense &
hurling your toasted cheese & tomato
at your walls & your ceiling
until one sticks
like a moving target nailed down, nailed.
Great training for Gallipoli.