Resting

They begin slowly at first, creeping and crawling,
Like the breath of a runner, they quicken with brawling.
Plunging into a void, the air evading my lungs;
Sucked up inside, each shiver licking like tongues.
I burst into the open, despairing for breath,
My arms flap around me, my legs feel like death.
I put myself here, I yearned for this mess!
To escape life’s “gift”, its heartache, its stress…
The cold closes in, the light finally fading fast,
Choking burning ice, are these moments my last?
What should one think of? When one is about to fade?
Of sadness, of happiness, or of the life I haven’t made?
The darkness of the sky cracks for I am beyond saviour;
He is looking upon me, judging my behaviour.
Leisurely I sink, and I think of my kin;
I think of His scrutiny of this act, of this sin.
Vision escapes my eyes with panic on calm,
It’s a “deadly place”, yet so beautiful; no alarm.
The currents ease me down, my heart my graceful anchor,
Abyss finally finds me, my peace, my thanker.