Magazine Girl

ALL women are lovely and radiantly fair
In the magazine pages today,
They all have a mop of luxuriant hair,
In the magazine pages today.
There's not one with freckles or nose gone askew,
Or teeth that protrude, as some real girls' do,
There isn't a blemish on girls that we view
In the magazine pages today.
There's not one too pudgy or not one too thin,
In the magazine pages today;
Nor one who's just losing her tortoise shell pin,
In the magazine pages today.
'Twixt shirtwaist and belt there is never a gap,
Or a tear in the silk that is lining her wrap,
And her gloves never lack a pearl button or snap,
In the magazine pages today.
She doesn't wear pink when she ought to wear blue,
In the magazine pages today;
And she isn't run down at the heel of her shoe,
In the magazine pages today.
You never can see when she hasn't a hat,
How much is real hair and how much of it's rat,
It's only in real life that we see things like that,
Not in magazine pages today.