“EIIO?”

by Albert Pike

Albert Pike

CHAUNTED BY JACK SAVAGE, AT THE LIFE-WAKE OF THE FINE ARKANSAS GENTLEMAN, WHO DIED BEFORE HIS TIME, 1859.

(Occasioned by a report that Gen. Pike had died a month previously.)

A gentleman from ARKANSAW, not long ago, 'tis said,
Waked up one pleasant morning, and discovered he was dead;
He was on his way to Washington, not seeking for the spoils,
But rejoicing in the promise of a spree at JOHNNY COYLE'S.

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, one spree at Johnny Coyle's;
And who would not be glad to join a spree at Johnny Coyle's?

He waked and found himself aboard a rickety old boat;
Says the ferryman, when questioned, "on the Styx you are afloat;"
"What! dead?" said he;—"indeed you are," the grim old churl replied;
"Why, then, I'll miss the spree at Coyle's," the gentleman replied.

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

Old Charon ferried him across the dirty, sluggish tide,
But he swore he would not tarry long upon the further
side; The ancient ghosts came flocking round upon the Stygian shore;—
"But," said he, "excuse me; I must have at Coyle's one frolic more."

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

Horace and old Anacreon in vain would have him stay;
From all those ancient fogies he made haste to get away;
For his Majesty, King Pluto, he was bound at once to see,
And at Johnny Coyle's, on Friday night, alive or dead to be.

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

Old Cerberus growled savagely, as he approached the gate;
"But," said he, "I've seen too many dogs for you to make me wait;
"If you show your teeth at me, my dog, your windpipe I shall twist;
"For if I were not to be at Coyle's, I'm sure I should be missed."

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

He crossed the adamantine halls, and reached the ebon throne,
Where gloomy Pluto frowned, and where his queen's soft beauty shone.
"What want you here?" the Monarch said: "Your Majesty," said he,
"Permission at one frolic more at Johnny Coyle's to be."

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"As Orpheus came, and yet returned, to breathe the upper air,
"So I your royal bounty crave, once more to venture there;
"Give me one night—no more;—Alas! SUCH nights are all too few!
"One more refection of the Gods; and then, good world, adieu!

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"'Tis not for power, or wealth, or fame, I hanker to return,
"Nor that love's kisses once again upon my lips may burn;
"Let me but once more meet the friends that long have been so dear,
"And who, if I'm not there, will say, 'Would God that he were here!'"

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"Are you not dead?" the King then said. "Well, what of that?" said he,
"If I AM dead, I've not been WAKED, and buried decently."
"And why," the Monarch cried, "desire again to share life's toils,
"For the sake of one good frolic more, even at Johnny Coyle's?"

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"We've Nectar and Ambrosia here; we do not starve the dead."—
'' Did you ever sample canvass - backs and terrapins?" he said:
"The table of your Majesty well served is, I dare say;
"But I wish you were at Johnny Coyle's, to taste his St. Peray."

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"If its good company you' want," the King said, "We've the best—
"Philosophers, Poets, Orators, Wits, Statesmen, and the rest;
"The courtiers of the good old times, the gentlemen most rare."—
Says he, "With those I'll meet at Coyle's your folks will not compare."

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

Says the King, "There's Horner here, and all the bards of ancient Greece,
"And the chaps that sailed away so far to fetch the golden fleece;
"We've Tully, Horace, and Montaigne." Says he, "I'll match the lot,
"If you'll let me go to Johnny Coyle's, and fetch them on the spot."

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &e.

"Whom will you bring?" said Pluto.—"CHARLEY BOTELER first I'll bring,
Facile princeps of good fellows, always ready for a ring,
In whose presence Alcibiades eclipsed shall hide his head,
And Charley shall take rank among the Past's illustrious dead."

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"The next shall WALTER LENOX be, the generous and true,
Who loves the old friends better than he e'er can love the new;
JACK SAVAGE next, who, heart in hand, demands who wants a friend?
Where Freedom is to fight for, where the Right is to defend?

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"I'll bring you BURWELL, Prince of Wits and Prince of Statesmen, too,
Who like Bayard, the dauntless Knight, reproach and fear ne'er knew:
ASH. WHITE, whose heart, defying time, is always in its youth;
GEORGE GIDEON, grand in honesty, grand in the simple truth.

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"I'll bring you PHILIP BARTON KEY, the Roman Tully's peer,
And JONAH HOOVER, frank and brave, straight-forward and sincere;
MCGUIRE, the generous, liberal friend, the patron of the arts,
Who, not content with fortune, takes delight in winning hearts.

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"Modest, reserved and silent, ingenuous, bashful, shy,
SHELTON MCKENZIE shall descend, your drinkables to try;
The generous boon-companion he, the genial humorist,
Who counts his friends by thousands, and ne'er drops one from the list.

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"And ALEXANDER DIMITRY'S great soul shall come to claim
Its place among the giants, and upon the roll of fame;
The noble by God's patent he, the fiery and the frank,
Who at the living springs of Truth its 'inspiration drank.

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"I'll bring the Empresario, BEV. TUCKER, who shall win
From Pericles Aspasia, if he chooses to go in;
The man without an enemy, the wit, the Sheridan
In whom two continents confess the gallant gentleman.

One spree at Johnny' Coyle's, &c.

"The Barrow-Knight, BEN PERLEYPOORE, shall come queer tales to tell,
Who as writer, friend, wit, gentleman, all he aims to do, does well;
GEORGE FRENCH, our paragon, shall come, to charm your ghosts with song,
Till Tartarus seems Elysium, to the fascinated throng.

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"HUGH CAPERTON shall come likewise, the generous Advocate,
Who never lets the Right upon Expediency wait;
And ARNOLD HARRIS, in whom all the manly virtues blend,
Good soldier, clever gentleman, frank foeman, loyal friend.

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"If these will not content you, ROBERT JOHNSON, I'll bring, too,
The very bravest of the brave, the truest of the true;
Impulsive, generous, fearless, frank, the Senate's Paladin,
Who never did ungenerous act a victory to win.

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"And with him JOHNNY COYLE himself, who never left a friend,
Nor harbored an ignoble thought, nor sought a selfish end;
The Arthur he among his knights, the pride of all his peers,
Whose soul but grows more generous, with the swift revolving years."

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

"Enough!" old Pluto cried; "the law must be enforced, 'tis plain;
If with those fellows once you get, you'll ne'er return again;
One night would not content you, and your face would ne'er be seen,
After that spree at Johnny Coyle's, by me or by my Queen.

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &e.

"And if all these fellows came at once, what would become of us?
They'd drown old Charon in the Styx, and murder Cerberus;
Make love to all the women here, and even to my wife;
Drink all my liquor up, and be the torment of my life.

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &e,

"They'd laugh and sing and rollick here, and turn night into day;
While every one his best would do to drive dull care away;
We'll take them by instalments, sir; so you may e'en remain,
And dismiss all hope of visiting the upper world again."

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &e.

Now something rash would have been said by ARKANSAW, no doubt,
But the Queen winked at him, as to say, "take care what you're about!"
For very much elated was the fair Proserpine,
At the promise of unbounded fun with this good company.

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

So then she hung round Pluto's neck, and to her snowy breast
She clasped the cross old vagabond, and fondly him caressed;
And while her kisses warm and soft upon his lips did rain,
She murmured, "Let him go, my love, he'll surely come again."

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

Said he, "I won't;" said she, "Dear Lord, do let me have my way!
Let him be present at his wake! How can you say me nay?
I'm sure you do not love me; if you did, you'd not refuse,
When I want to get the fashions, and you want to hear the news."

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, &c.

And so at last the Queen prevailed, as women always do,
And thus it comes that once again this gentleman's with you;
He's under promise to return, but that he means to break,
And many another spree to have, besides this present wake.

One spree at Johnny Coyle's, one spree at Johnny Coyle's;
And who would not be glad to join a spree at Johnny Coyles?





Last updated May 13, 2023